(***This post was originally posted on Open Salon on February 10, 2011. In light of recent developments with yet another politician being a dumba$$, I felt the need to repost.)
I remember when I was young and immature, and I thought showing skin was the epitome of sexy. A short, off-the-shoulder dress. Daisy Duke shorts and a halter top. A skirt with a slit up the hip and a cleavage-enhancing blouse. Anything see-through. Then I found out that sometimes hiding the more tempting goodies was sexier than putting them on display. If a man knows they’re there but can’t see them, he’ll work harder to get to see them.
Women work a little differently. Yes, a man shirtless, gleaming with sweat, with a hammer in his hand, is sexy. Daniel Craig in his first Bond movie getting out of the ocean in those itty bitty shorts is sexy. A man wearing nothing but pajama bottoms, holding an infant in his arms, is sexy.
Sexy is natural. It is not something you can fake, or stage, or pose for.
I’ve been on various online dating sites for…far too long. One of the sundry lessons I’ve learned is that some men really have no idea what sexy is. A man wearing board shorts getting out of the water: sexy. A man wearing board shorts and posing: not sexy. A man working shirtless under the hood of a car: sexy. A man standing next to an expensive sports car, obviously showing off: not sexy.
A man standing in front of a mirror and taking any sort of picture, shirtless or not: not sexy.
Men, there’s this nifty little thing called a self-timer. I know your cell phone camera probably doesn’t have one, but most point-and-shoot digitals do. There’s really no need for the “picture in the mirror” photo op. Set the camera on the mantle, set the self-timer, sit your butt on the couch fully clothed, and smile.
That’s really all a woman wants. A nice man with a nice smile.