After 6 spam comments in 4 days, I’ve changed my comment settings to not show up unless I approve. This is just the spam that’s getting through – I shudder to think of the spam that wordpress is catching…
For your enjoyment: Newborn Bad Lipreading:
And for your further enjoyment: there are few things in the world happier than this pup:
Aaaannnddd….on to the Baby Stuff.
We’ve been struggling with establishing a schedule/routine for Baby J. I’m amazed at people who can say, “Baby takes a nap at 11 every day” at four months. I have a friend who does this. The best I can tell you is that when Baby J wakes up at 10:30 from a nap, he’ll be back down for another nap around noon. Each day is different, because his wake times/nap times are different every day. I sometimes feel like I’m doing something wrong, but then I figure there are moms who are worse off. At least Baby J can put himself to sleep (most of the time) without me rocking him or nursing him. I realize part of the problem is just that his brain is maturing. He was on a set schedule for a couple of weeks, then a Wonder Week/Growth Spurt hit (combined with a couple of vaccinations) and it got shot to hell. Now we’ve got the four month sleep regression looming (or here? He’s gone from sleeping 7-8 hours through the night to waking every 2-3), so I’m not even trying to figure out his schedule for a few more weeks. (And please understand that when I say “schedule” I mean more of a routine, and fully baby led, lest anyone start yelling at me for putting too much structure on my child. Then there are those who will tell me I *should* put that much structure on him…can’t win in the parenting game.)
I’ve also been struggling with the late afternoon nap/bedtime issue. I would like to put him to bed around 8-8:30, but if I follow the whole “no naps after 6pm” guidelines he may end up having been awake for four hours. Then I have people tell me his bedtime should be 6-6:30. Which would be awesome, except then when the hell would he see his father, on the weekends? Seriously, how do working moms get to spend any time with their babies, if they’re putting them to bed that early? Figure get off work at 5, pick up from daycare, get home, and you’re looking at half an hour of bonding time. That’s not enough, not in my book at least. Once again, I’m so glad I don’t have to work (although that doesn’t help out Daddy with bonding time…). Besides, babies don’t have any concept of time, so what does it matter if they sleep from 7p-7a or 10p-10a? I’m struggling to understand that.
Ugh, I spend way too much time looking up baby sleep advice. And right now, it changes so fast. Like I said, I’m waiting a couple of weeks to get past the four month mark, then starting fresh. I’ve got the Magic Merlin sleepsuit coming from the US (thanks to a friend with an empty suitcase, bringing everyone here whatever they can’t get here) to try to break Baby J of the swaddling (currently not technically swaddled, but his arms are pinned inside a sleep sack). I’d like to eventually wean him off the pacifier, but his habit isn’t too bad at this point. It calms him when he first lays down, but he often spits it out within a couple of minutes and doesn’t need it to fall asleep. And he doesn’t use one very often when he’s awake, so maybe I should just let it go. *shrug*
On to other topics…
I’ve done my share of laughing at people – not in a super mean way, but in a *side-eye* “Look what *that* guy is wearing” way. I had a big change of heart last year, though, after reading about a Reddit user posting a photo of a Sikh woman with facial hair, and her response. The guy who posted the photo ended up posting an apology, and these are the words he used: “Making fun of people is funny to some but incredibly degrading to the people you’re making fun of.” He says the photo was “an incredibly rude, judgmental, and ignorant thing to post.” Suddenly, everyone I had ever made fun of, even in my head, popped into my mind. How incredibly rude, judgmental, and ignorant of me. Now, don’t get me wrong – I still think certain things when I see people, and I sometimes voice those things to those close to me, but I really try hard not to. I try to think of what reason they have to wear what they’re wearing, look how they look, or do what they do. Because here’s the thing — there very likely is a reason. For example: “I am the woman you laughed at on the internet.” Same basic thing happened to this woman – someone took a photo of her and made fun of her, shaming her to the world, without knowing the why. Why do we do this? Does it make us feel better? Have you ever done or worn something and thought, “I hope people know I’m just doing this for *x* reason.” What if someone had taken a photo of you like that and posted it online with the express purpose of making fun of you? Remember, everyone on the internet is an actual person, with feelings and emotions and reasons for what they do. When this happens with teenagers, it’s called cyber-bullying, so why isn’t it the same thing when it happens with adults? I challenge you, the next time you see a photo of someone that was taken with the intent to make fun of them, think about what might have happened the moment before that photo was taken, think about the why.
Whew. Off soapbox. Now, I’ll leave you with this –
I love her thoughts on the messaging in the US about what a mother should do and the remessaging that needs to happen. I needed the reminder that only I can make myself happy, and I need to work on that more these days. I just hope it will get easier as Baby J gets older, because what would have made me happy today was to finish my cup of tea without microwaving it four times to rewarm it. *sigh* I don’t think it applies to babies who can’t take care of themselves. How long until Baby J is able to occupy himself?
