A day in the life

I’ve decided I want a GoPro camera.  Not to see what my cat does all day (I don’t have a cat), but to see what I do all day.  Because I am constantly doing something, and yet, I’m not doing anything any other woman/wife/mother does, so how the hell do these women work full time and still get all this shit done?  Am I doing something wrong?  I feel like the only time I sit down during the day is to eat, nurse Baby J, or pee.  That’s roughly 8am-7pm.  And yet somehow I can’t find time to write?

Because, damnit, I want to find time to write!  All the experts say, “Make time,” or “Use the 15 minutes while waiting for the water to boil.”  But I use that time to do other shit I have to do.  Anyone want a glimpse of my day?

  • 7am – Baby J wakes.  Change diaper, play a bit, nurse, and it’s time to put him down for his first nap.
  • 8-9:30am – First nap of the day.  I wash and sterilize the breast pump and milk storage parts, do dishes, sort laundry, put a load in.  Eat breakfast.  Peel, cook, and puree plums to freeze for baby food.
  • 9:30am-12:30pm – Baby J up, change diaper, play a bit, nurse, bundle us both up, walk into town to run an errand, walk back, put Baby J to bed for Nap #2.
  • 12:30-1:15pm – Second nap of the day.  I eat lunch.  Take a little time to myself.  Breathe.
  • 1:15-3:15pm – Baby J up, change diaper, play a bit, nurse (in bed so I don’t have to hold my head up – I’m exhausted!).  Strip Baby J down, put in bathtub with juicy, sticky food to eat while I shower, then give him a bath. Back down for a nap.
  • 3:15-5pm – Third nap of the day.  Clean shower, prep dinner, around 4:15 say, “You know what, screw this, I’m going to blog!”
  • 5-8pm – Baby J up, change diaper, play a bit, nurse.  Make dinner, eat dinner, feed Baby J solids. Put him to bed for the night.  Clean up kitchen.
  • 8-9:30pm – Watch TV with Stephen, try to relax some.
  • 9:30-10pm – Brush teeth, read 10 pages, lights out.
  • 11:30pm – Baby J wakes, soothe him back to sleep.
  • 2:30-3:30am – Baby J wakes, change diaper, nurse.  Pump.
  • 3:30-7am – sleep.

I really feel like I bust my ass most days, and I’m exhausted.  I want nothing more than to sit on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watch a cheesy romantic comedy.  But there’s still so much to do!  Besides, if I’m going to take that time to myself, shouldn’t I write?

Like I said, I can’t help but feel I’m doing something wrong.  Like, do I spend too much time doing dishes?  Making dinner?  There’s not a whole lot of wiggle room in my schedule, it’s not like I can cut out a nursing session.

Here’s what I want time to do:

  • Read 10 pages a night
  • Work out every day
  • Write every day

These are my current goals.  Not my 2015 goals, just my current goals.  I want to read more.  I want to drop some weight by mid-April, and started a 90 day challenge this week (I’m on Day 3, and I don’t know if I’ll find time to work out today).  I want to finish writing a book by the end of March.

These are things I want to do for me.  And I think anything I do for me will make me a better person, wife, and mother, because I will be happier with myself and thus happier in general.  I don’t think these goals are too much to ask of myself.

So the question is, what has to give to make these things happen?

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Categories: Random | Tags: , , , | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “A day in the life

  1. anonymous

    You put those in your schedule. That way you get uninterrupted time because then you don’t stray even if there is an emergency that has to be taken care of during that time.

    • Ha – there’s no schedule. Things happen when they happen. Those things *are* on my to-do list. Every day. Problem is, a lot of stuff on my daily to-do list gets moved to the next day…then the next…then the next…

      • anonymous

        That’s why you need a schedule. Even if those are the only things on it.

        • What’s that saying about making God laugh by telling him your plans? I think the same applies to babies and schedules. Example: during baby’s second nap, currently 1.5 hours long, I will eat lunch and write. Except, baby suddenly starts waking at 45 minutes, so the “schedule” goes out the window. There’s no ignoring a 7 month old baby in order to stick to a schedule. When he’s older, sure, “Here, sit and color while mama finishes this.” But now? Nope. Not to mention, at this age the schedule changes as fast as it’s established!

          • anonymous

            Yes, but then you adapt. The important thing is that you have established yourself a regular time and committed to doing those things. If the schedule doesn’t work, you change it and you’ll eventually find one that works for you. The way I see it, to-do lists are wishful thinking, because they give you the option to avoid doing things by allowing you to organize the tasks on the fly. Some of them can easily drop out, whereas schedules are instructions committed to and with time allotted for doing them.

            Now, if you create a full schedule and you know things will change, it’s not going to work. Instead, only schedule the important things and give yourself ample time to achieve them. For example, if you want to read a book for 45 minutes, schedule yourself 2-3 hours to do it. The difference is that as long as you care about the schedule, you’ll be dragging the book along with you that whole time on acute tasks with the intention of reading it whenever possible instead of keeping it at bedside, where you can’t and won’t remember to read it (or can’t be bothered to fetch it from) when, say, 10 minutes suddenly open up for you. You use the schedule as a template for a routine.

  2. Man, I have been there!! It gets both easier and harder as their naps consolidate. You have more time to do stuff because you aren’t constantly feeding them and putting them down for naps, but they are also awake and more demanding. Every mom I know that has time to work out, read, write, whatever — the key is either giving up more sleep (not recommended or at least not something i am willing to do) or hiring childcare. You know, like how much time would you need to get done what you want to get done? 1 hour a day? 2? And then as the non-money-earning parent (I refuse to classify stay at home moms as “non-working parents”), you have to figure out if it fits in with budgets and all that.
    I’m still trying to figure this out.

    • Giving up sleep? Get real! I had thought that my ideal schedule would be – Baby J sleeps until 4:30am, we nurse, he goes back down around 5, and I use the 5-7ish slot to write. Except Baby J doesn’t give a shit about my schedule. It did actually happen, magically, last Sunday/Monday, just like I hoped…and by 10am I was exhausted and wondering why. Oh, right, because I’ve already been awake for 6 hours. And I have how many more to go? Oy. Hmmmm…childcare. I’ve heard the daycare will take kids starting at 9 months, so maybe that’s an option. Or maybe I could find a high school kid for a couple of days a week after school. Certainly worth looking into. Friends here have offered to watch Baby J whenever I need, but there’s a difference between “Hey, I have a doctor’s appointment” and “Can you watch him a couple days a week?”

      And, yeah, “Stay at Home Mom” = “Work at Home Mom” as far as I’m concerned.

  3. sending you a big hug!
    whewwww this baby stuff and their schedules! those babies have it all worked out but they do not clue in the tired parents.
    hoping the sleep fairies find their way to your place!

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