I’ve decided I want a GoPro camera. Not to see what my cat does all day (I don’t have a cat), but to see what I do all day. Because I am constantly doing something, and yet, I’m not doing anything any other woman/wife/mother does, so how the hell do these women work full time and still get all this shit done? Am I doing something wrong? I feel like the only time I sit down during the day is to eat, nurse Baby J, or pee. That’s roughly 8am-7pm. And yet somehow I can’t find time to write?
Because, damnit, I want to find time to write! All the experts say, “Make time,” or “Use the 15 minutes while waiting for the water to boil.” But I use that time to do other shit I have to do. Anyone want a glimpse of my day?
- 7am – Baby J wakes. Change diaper, play a bit, nurse, and it’s time to put him down for his first nap.
- 8-9:30am – First nap of the day. I wash and sterilize the breast pump and milk storage parts, do dishes, sort laundry, put a load in. Eat breakfast. Peel, cook, and puree plums to freeze for baby food.
- 9:30am-12:30pm – Baby J up, change diaper, play a bit, nurse, bundle us both up, walk into town to run an errand, walk back, put Baby J to bed for Nap #2.
- 12:30-1:15pm – Second nap of the day. I eat lunch. Take a little time to myself. Breathe.
- 1:15-3:15pm – Baby J up, change diaper, play a bit, nurse (in bed so I don’t have to hold my head up – I’m exhausted!). Strip Baby J down, put in bathtub with juicy, sticky food to eat while I shower, then give him a bath. Back down for a nap.
- 3:15-5pm – Third nap of the day. Clean shower, prep dinner, around 4:15 say, “You know what, screw this, I’m going to blog!”
- 5-8pm – Baby J up, change diaper, play a bit, nurse. Make dinner, eat dinner, feed Baby J solids. Put him to bed for the night. Clean up kitchen.
- 8-9:30pm – Watch TV with Stephen, try to relax some.
- 9:30-10pm – Brush teeth, read 10 pages, lights out.
- 11:30pm – Baby J wakes, soothe him back to sleep.
- 2:30-3:30am – Baby J wakes, change diaper, nurse. Pump.
- 3:30-7am – sleep.
I really feel like I bust my ass most days, and I’m exhausted. I want nothing more than to sit on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watch a cheesy romantic comedy. But there’s still so much to do! Besides, if I’m going to take that time to myself, shouldn’t I write?
Like I said, I can’t help but feel I’m doing something wrong. Like, do I spend too much time doing dishes? Making dinner? There’s not a whole lot of wiggle room in my schedule, it’s not like I can cut out a nursing session.
Here’s what I want time to do:
- Read 10 pages a night
- Work out every day
- Write every day
These are my current goals. Not my 2015 goals, just my current goals. I want to read more. I want to drop some weight by mid-April, and started a 90 day challenge this week (I’m on Day 3, and I don’t know if I’ll find time to work out today). I want to finish writing a book by the end of March.
These are things I want to do for me. And I think anything I do for me will make me a better person, wife, and mother, because I will be happier with myself and thus happier in general. I don’t think these goals are too much to ask of myself.
So the question is, what has to give to make these things happen?