Does that mean I’m now working for free?

I’ve always wanted to write, to really be a full time writer.  To truly immerse myself in the craft, not worry about a “day job.”  I didn’t realize it when we got married, but my husband is actually helping to make one of my dreams come true.  I know that sounds corny, but it’s true.

Of course, I knew that marrying him and moving to Finland would allow me the opportunity to write.  He is constantly reminding me, any time I say, “I won’t have a job,” that I do, actually.  “Your job is to write.”  And he’s quite adamant about it.  I secretly wonder if he’ll be checking my word count every night.

So yes, I knew that I would get the chance to do something I’ve always wanted to do.  And I knew it was because of Hubster.  But I didn’t quite connect the dots until today.  He is actually making my dreams come true.  I was in a bookstore the other day and bought a book on writing, and the cashier asked if I was a writer.  I barely hesitated before saying, “Yes.”  Without any qualifiers.  Not “aspiring writer,” not “I’m going to try to write.”  Yes, I am a writer.

Today is my last day at work.  Hubster would hate me saying that, so I’ll rephrase.  Today is my last day at this job, where I get a pay check.  I won’t get another paycheck for a couple of years (even if I do write the next Hunger Games, I may not get a paycheck for a couple of years).  After today, I will be a “kept woman.”  Relying on my husband to support me.  There’s something so…unfeminist about that.  It’s a very strange feeling.

And then a new thought (put into my head by a friend):  Now I have nothing keeping me from realizing my dreams…except myself.  If I fail, it’s well and truly because of me.

No pressure or anything…

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Categories: Finland | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Does that mean I’m now working for free?

  1. Please write the next Hunger Games. Then I can tell everyone that I know you. ha ha. I don’t think you’re going to be a kept woman. You’re going to be self-employed. Who’s to say that you won’t end up being paid to write articles on various topics while you also work on your first novel? The possibilities are endless. But I understand the pressure coming from knowing any success, large or small, is now up to your doing. I think you’ll be great! You have a natural way with words.

  2. Jenn Benn

    How much money would it take for you to take yourself seriously as a writer? Think baby steps. I told myself that if someone from a legitimate publication would pay me the going rate, i.e. a dollar a word, then I could call myself a writer. I reached out to a few pubs, got an assignment, stressed like a maniac then wrote it. You can do this. It’s time.

    Before then I felt like a phony. Not saying you are at all, just saying that’s how I felt. I felt like a big fat liar. I couldn’t even utter the word “writer” for a year after I cashed the first check. I could call myself a writer in my head but not out loud. You’re ahead of the game so go for it!

    • I don’t think it’s a money issue, it’s a publication issue. Like, you say you’re a writer, and people say, “Anything I’ve read?” or “What have you written?” And if you’re not published, it kind of feels fake, you know? I think once I have something published somewhere, other than my own blog, of course, I’ll feel like it’s a little more legit.

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