I’ve always wanted to write, to really be a full time writer. To truly immerse myself in the craft, not worry about a “day job.” I didn’t realize it when we got married, but my husband is actually helping to make one of my dreams come true. I know that sounds corny, but it’s true.
Of course, I knew that marrying him and moving to Finland would allow me the opportunity to write. He is constantly reminding me, any time I say, “I won’t have a job,” that I do, actually. “Your job is to write.” And he’s quite adamant about it. I secretly wonder if he’ll be checking my word count every night.
So yes, I knew that I would get the chance to do something I’ve always wanted to do. And I knew it was because of Hubster. But I didn’t quite connect the dots until today. He is actually making my dreams come true. I was in a bookstore the other day and bought a book on writing, and the cashier asked if I was a writer. I barely hesitated before saying, “Yes.” Without any qualifiers. Not “aspiring writer,” not “I’m going to try to write.” Yes, I am a writer.
Today is my last day at work. Hubster would hate me saying that, so I’ll rephrase. Today is my last day at this job, where I get a pay check. I won’t get another paycheck for a couple of years (even if I do write the next Hunger Games, I may not get a paycheck for a couple of years). After today, I will be a “kept woman.” Relying on my husband to support me. There’s something so…unfeminist about that. It’s a very strange feeling.
And then a new thought (put into my head by a friend): Now I have nothing keeping me from realizing my dreams…except myself. If I fail, it’s well and truly because of me.
No pressure or anything…
Please write the next Hunger Games. Then I can tell everyone that I know you. ha ha. I don’t think you’re going to be a kept woman. You’re going to be self-employed. Who’s to say that you won’t end up being paid to write articles on various topics while you also work on your first novel? The possibilities are endless. But I understand the pressure coming from knowing any success, large or small, is now up to your doing. I think you’ll be great! You have a natural way with words.
Thanks Jen! I’ll work on getting to the point where you can say you know me!
How much money would it take for you to take yourself seriously as a writer? Think baby steps. I told myself that if someone from a legitimate publication would pay me the going rate, i.e. a dollar a word, then I could call myself a writer. I reached out to a few pubs, got an assignment, stressed like a maniac then wrote it. You can do this. It’s time.
Before then I felt like a phony. Not saying you are at all, just saying that’s how I felt. I felt like a big fat liar. I couldn’t even utter the word “writer” for a year after I cashed the first check. I could call myself a writer in my head but not out loud. You’re ahead of the game so go for it!
I don’t think it’s a money issue, it’s a publication issue. Like, you say you’re a writer, and people say, “Anything I’ve read?” or “What have you written?” And if you’re not published, it kind of feels fake, you know? I think once I have something published somewhere, other than my own blog, of course, I’ll feel like it’s a little more legit.